Hey guys! I’m back after a long break. I wanted to share with you what I’ve been up to the past couple of months and the new plans I have for my blog. Btw, because I didn’t have a chance to make a post about it, Happy New Year!! I hope everyone is doing well with your Resolutions, if you do that sort of thing.
So let me just start off by saying I have a totally different plan for this year than I did last year. 2017 was basically a year of soul searching. I was really starting to find my passions, accept my flaws, be proud of my quirks and love what I’m all about. It was definitely a crazy roller coaster ride. Like literally day to day, I was going through some kind of craziness and figuring out what works for me and what doesn’t. It was a year of a lot of transition and in-betweens. By that, I mean I was leaving the first apartment I’ve ever lived in and going back with my parents again (which was a bit of a struggle for me, but that’s a story for another time), I started regularly going to a new Church that I LOVE, and I officially quit smoking cold turkey which has been awesome (I can finally walk up a flight of stairs without my lungs feeling like they’re going to explode).
At the start of 2017, I was very unsure of things. I felt stuck. I was going out to bars a lot and hanging with people I knew weren’t right for my life. I was barely making time to eat in the day and became extremely underweight. I was working one part-time job and barely making enough to get by. I was letting life pass me by and felt no fulfillment whatsoever. But I’m honestly really thankful for every bit of it. It might sound strange, but that whole crazy year really put things into perspective for me.
It helped me appreciate what I have. It made me realize that who and what I surround myself with play a huge part in the person that I become, so I better be wise about it. I also learned that you need to look out for yourself and go after the things that you want, because no one else is going to do it for you. It made me stronger because I knew it what it was like to feel weak and no longer want that anymore. It’s given me more courage because I struggled with fear for far too long, and knew I could no longer live that way.
I used to make New Years Resolutions because…well it sounded like a good idea and…basically everyone else was doing it so I figured why not. But late last year, I decided to skip Resolutions and not put so much pressure on myself for 2018. Instead, I just gradually started making healthier choices for my life because I genuinely wanted to, not because it was going to be New Years in a couple months and it was the thing to do. And I never intended to make any FIRM decisions, they could’ve changed at any moment. I was just doing what made me happy at the time. Let me just point out that I have nothing against Resolutions because for some it really does work and give that kick in the butt! But I had come to the conclusion that it just doesn’t for me…like at all.
So basically a few months back, I decided I wanted to be healthier. That was it. I wanted to feel better, not be so tired all the time, have the body that I’ve always wanted and start saving money. I didn’t want to feel like life was just passing by anymore. I wanted to feel in control of things for the first time in a long time.
So, first things first, I told myself “I’m going to stop smoking today”, and what do you know? I actually did. I asked my FB friends to pray for me about it, and those prayers were answered. I had barely any cravings or withdrawals the whole time! I was really surprised because I had been a smoker for about 7 years and tried to quit in the past and went right back each time. I’m not completely sure why it happened this way, but I’ve decided I’m not going to question it, I’m just thankful for it!
After I stopped smoking, my appetite started coming back, but I still wasn’t making much time to have the number of meals that I needed. Also, people who love me were truly getting concerned about my weight loss and were making comments about it. I had gone from 135 pounds to 119. My weight had never been that low before :O So, after all the comments I was getting, I thought about it. Not only did I feel sluggish all the time from not eating or sleeping right, but I never really liked the way my body looked. I was always so thin from having such a fast metabolism. As an almost 24 year old woman, I wanted to have a body that I’d feel beautiful and confident in, not be all bones anymore.
So right then and there, I decided, I’m going to research how to gain weight and get the body I want. After all the researching, I found that I had been having maybe 1/3 of the number of calories I needed everyday to even MAINTAIN weight, never mind gain any. And man, did it show when I started counting the calories of everything I ate in a day.
(👆🏻Left: Before, Right: After)
So I was not only eating better, but I started working out to gain the weight in a healthy way. (More on my fitness journey in future posts). Now on top of all of that, I also started going to bed earlier, waking up earlier and no longer feeling like I was wasting my days away. I stopped drinking so much coffee and was having natural energy throughout the day!
I’ve been making changes and trying to work on myself as often as possible. But I haven’t been putting any pressure on myself to do any of it. What motivates me to stay persistent with any of these things is the fact that I’m doing them for me. Because I want to feel good. Not for any other reason.
Also, I started working a second job. One that I truly enjoy! And am using the money I make there to get a car! It will be my first one (don’t judge!). So now, I’m working full-time and finally feel like I’m putting my all into everything that I do. It’s fantastic!
This year, I want to include posts about my fitness journey for those of you who may be struggling with weight gain, or just feel like crap throughout the day and want to get your life in order and feel better about yourself. I also want to share some personal experiences and random events that happen because I feel like some big things are going to be coming this year! I will of course keep putting up beauty posts! But I really wanted to make my blog a little more diverse and personal so you can get to know me a little better as I hope to get to know all of you!
I can’t wait to see how everyone’s year unfolds! Let me know what YOUR goals are in the comments, as well as if you WOULD actually like to see posts on the things I’ve mentioned! Thanks so much for taking the time to read 🙂 Xoxo