A Letter To My 16 Year Old Self

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So I’m doing this challenge: Write a Letter To Your Past Self, which is meant to help bring healing to your present life. I thought it was a really interesting, helpful exercise, so I had to try it out for myself!

So if I could write a letter to my 16 year old self and give her some insight on what is going on, or give her some advice on how to handle things, just stuff that I wish I could’ve known back then, this is probably what I would say.

Dear Dayna,

I know how things are going to unfold for you. There’s going to be a lot going on this year, but you need to stay strong. Your heart is going to get broken by the first guy you ever loved, and you’re going to want to jump into another relationship. But if you do, it will take you so much longer to heal. You won’t truly be able to love another until you’ve accepted and felt everything you need to.

So please, I know it’s going to be hard, but I think you’ve seen it coming. You two don’t belong with each other. You had great times but you’re still so young. As you get older, both of you will have gone in totally different directions, and you’d probably have to compromise your values to stay together. It’s not worth it, girl. You both have someone so much better in store for you. I’ve seen it for myself. So when the time comes, don’t hold bitterness. Let go of any guilt you have. It’s going to be a process. It will take a while, but not as long as it did for me..that’s why I’m warning you now. Don’t let your heart wander off to the next one to show you attention, as nice as it might seem at first, it’ll only make things worse for you in the end.

In case you decide to be your stubborn self any way, you will get close to another, and he’s going to be VERY different from the last. That’s why you’ll be drawn to him. He’ll be the adventurous, rebel boy who shows you new things and takes you to new places. I know it’s going to look like he cares so much for you. But please don’t be fooled by his words. You’ll know in your heart that he doesn’t truly love you, but remember what I said before about what happens when you don’t allow time for healing?  Well, it’s going to cause you to stay in this relationship because you don’t want to face your pain. You want to believe that THIS is what love is, and you’ll try to convince yourself that you’re happy, when you know you deserve better. It’s going to be a rough few years for you, Love. I wish that wasn’t the case, I really do. But just something to keep in mind during that time, you need to start learning to love yourself.

You act like you’re so confident with the people around you, but I know you don’t truly think you deserve much. You wouldn’t allow others to treat you the way they do. You wouldnt blame yourself for every issue that comes up. You wouldn’t keep trying to avoid TRUE love from others, because you think you don’t deserve it. You wouldn’t always think you’re a burden and shut yourself away or get quiet when you have something important to say. I need you to see the beautiful heart and awesome personality that I see when I look back at you. There are so many days where I think of you and wish I could relive the next few years you’ll be going through. You’re going to change, a lot. After holding in so much for so long, and refusing to heal from the bad things that happen to you, your smile and laughter is going to lessen. Your excitement will be practically nonexistent. You’ll be a walking, breathing anxiety attack waiting to happen. That’s why I look back to you.

I miss you so much. You’re the part of me that I always wish but am not sure I can ever get back. The part of me that was innocent, and looking forward to every new day. Who had hope for humanity, for making a difference in the world. The Dayna who wasn’t afraid to be her crazy, random, goofy self, and didn’t care if people judged her for it.

This is why I’m writing to you, to help you realize how wonderful you are. To show you that even if you’re having a bad hair day, or you and your best friend are fighting about something stupid, or if your relationships aren’t always going so great, don’t forget who you are in the midst of it all. Don’t let any of that stuff change you. Don’t give up hope just because you have some bad days. People are going to screw up, you’re going to screw up, take the time to learn to forgive and move on. You’re going to need to do that MANY times down the road.

Also, the friends you have right now, don’t take them for granted. They really care about you. Don’t get so caught up in your relationships that you forget to show them how much you appreciate them. Because one day, you’re going to end up losing a lot of them, and you’ll hold a lot of guilt for that. So the ones you know are looking out for you, don’t just let them go and be mad at you when you’re in the wrong. Let go of your pride and make things better.

But also don’t let yourself get close to just anybody, they’re not all looking out for your best interest. Be wise about who you keep in your circle.

Just be true to yourself and do what really makes you happy. Don’t let the world rob you of your joy, there’s people out there that need it. I need it. Stay strong girl 👌🏻

 

While writing this “letter”, I was able to think back to how my 16 year old self felt back then and how untrue my negative feelings about myself were. I realized a pattern in my negative behaviors at that time and what may have caused such a change in me over time, a change I don’t like. This has helped give me a ton of insight. I’d definitely recommend this exercise to everyone!

Thanks for taking the time to read! I hope you got something helpful from it or at least could maybe relate to some of it. Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear from you 😊 xoxo

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