So I had an interesting thought today and I wanted to share it with you guys. I’m going to make this post a little short though but if you want another post concerning this topic, I’ll make another for more discussion!
I was on Facebook earlier and saw a post from a girl I knew that pup up a question along the lines of “Would you get married to a man who will pay the rent, you don’t have to work- Just got to stay home, clean the house let it look good & listen to him, treat him like your king! And he’ll take you out, work, provide. You got to just do these things & always be by his side, listen if he says he doesn’t want you to go out sometimes and when you do, no where far, he’s loyal & will provide, never cheat & will love you & keep you like a queen if you can do all these things including having respect & dressing properly.”
At first there were a couple of things that I was a little iffy on, most likely from the wording of it. But basically what I felt was that if there is a mutual respect and love for each other and healthy communication between the two of you, then I’d be all for these things if my man and I had kids or something and he wanted me to stay home temporarily with them for a while as he works to provide. I would want him to feel free to be open about his needs and wants and not feel that I’m just going to push them to the side and do what I want any way. I might not always follow what he says, but I would be open to listening anyway.
There were actually a lot of women who didn’t think it was right and wanted to hold onto their independence and not rely on a man for anything. And I totally see where they are coming from too, because if anything were to happen to the relationship and you were on your own, you wouldn’t want to be stuck with nothing! And lots of women (myself included) don’t feel fulfilled when they’re not working.
But in a situation where you now have a newborn or something, I’d say it’s perfectly healthy to be staying home with them, keeping a nice environment in the home and just appreciating what your husband wants to do as a man and provider for your family for a period of time. It’s not him controlling you, it’s him loving you and wanting to do what’s best for the family.
So this was my actual response to the question:
Yes! If we had kids or something and he wanted me to stay home with them for a while while he works to provide, I would WANT the house to look and feel nice for when he gets home after a long hard day at work and have a meal waiting for him because he so deserves it! Not just sit on my butt all day while he’s working and then comes home where he has to cook and clean too, that’s just not fair. And because I know my man loves me and treats me well, is loyal and works hard to provide I would gladly stick by his side. And I go out dressing properly and respectfully any way so he doesn’t need to ask me to. A man can’t be controlling and love you at the same time. His controlling behaviors are self-serving. So if he tries to tell me I can or can’t do something, we’ll of course that’s not okay. But basically I want my man to be able to voice himself and his wants without thinking I’m just going to push them to the side and do what I want anyway. A relationship takes respect and healthy communication from both sides.
In saying that, I realized something. This is kind of what it’s like having a relationship with God. The Bible tells us what God wants for our lives. And each commandment and desire of His for us is good, they are not meant to make us resent Him for trying to force us into anything. Each commandment is placed there to better our lives. When we choose to respect and submit to Him because we love Him and genuinely want to please Him, we have more peace, we don’t feel the need to search outside of His love for anything. If He tried to control us and force things upon us, of course we would rebel and want nothing to do with Him. He knows our human hearts and instead wants to gently pursue us.
But that’s what it means to have free will, yet choose freely to honor and love God with it rather than do whatever we want because “we can”. That’s what God wants, for us to choose Him over the world all on our own. He’s gentle and patient. Kind and gracious. And He won’t push us to follow Him. He is a gentleman.
Disclaimer: Obviously this only works with a man that does truly have your best interests in mind and is a healthy minded individual who isn’t abusive in any way. That’s why there can be a fine line here and I know many women who have trusted a man and have been treated terribly in their relationships and marriages. So we should make sure we are using discernement in our relationships, and know that the man we are entrusting our hearts to is also being led by the Lord. That’s why we should be trusting God and putting Him first and foremost so we can know who it is God wants for us.
What do you think of the question? What are your thoughts on this issue? Let’s have a discussion!
Thanks for reading 😊😊 Till next time! xoxo